I guess thats what love is all about. 

He broke your heart.
You broke his. 

Still, you love him the most, and
he loves you the most. 



I guess thats what love is all about. 

You'll never get tired of people you love. 
Eventhough in logic, you should be. 

Nur and Hidayah

So glad that Allah SWT grants me nur and hidayah. So glad that Im finally have the urge to cover up. And it has been almost 4 months now and it's wonderful. 

Things surely change. Better ofcourse. Never felt any prettier. Never felt so much love. Never felt this content. 

Im indeed really glad I took this path. Not a single regret in my mind. Never. 

Sigur Rós.

There are so many ways to be happy. There are so many ways to feel content. And so, I would love to share with you readers what makes me happy for the past year.

Good musics will change everything. Good musics can repair your wounds. Good musics can create a life transition. I believe music is one of the best creation on earth. It doesnt matter what types of music you love as long as you feel good about it. 

Well you know what, I managed to catch most of my favorite bands live here, in Malaysia. it started with the Icelandic god, Sigur Rós on 25th Nov 2012 at the Urbanscapes Fest. At first, I bought tickets to watch them live in Singapore, but I had to pass because my sister got married on the same date, luckily Urbanscapes managed to bring them here in Malaysia and it was so amazing, words could not describe how I felt that time. I was so so so happy, so bless to be alive, so bless that I could watch them live and stand in the first row. It was surreal. It was Sigur Rós. It was them right in front of my eyes, doing what they do best. I can not stop talking about them for months, about how amazing they were that night. I still remember every details about it. When the rain hit the ground alongside with magical sounds. Everything is pure. I love everything about that night. I love Sigur Rós. And I will always love them.

Im using my iPod 4th Gen to capture the photos above, that explains the quality, but hey, Im glad I have my iPod with me that time! See ya on the next post. Love, Fika Ahmad.
I hate everyone. I hate human being. I hate myself. 

One day you will ache like I ache.

Why I cant be happy? Why cant I be permanently happy? After all the things Ive done, to protect, to fix, to re-build, why cant I be permanently happy?

Pain in me is like a healthy flower. Blooming all the time. Its like someone has been paid to water the pain, to cut the unwell, to fertilize it. Pain in me is like water. Flows in my blood streams, blend in it. Pain in me is unbearable, pain in me is unknown, pain in me is undefined.

Does anyone even remember me wearing a pure smile? A genuine laugh? If you do, please explain to me how does it feel when I was in such state, because pain in me is killing me.